Hope for Veterans (and everyone else!)

The recent legalization of medical cannabis by ballot initiative was an incredible turning point for many Missouri veterans and their families. Veterans turned out in droves to gather signatures, promote the uses of medical cannabis, and share their stories of how cannabis changed their lives in order to help push the ballot initiative into acceptance. Now, finally, we have something we have been denied so very long: hope.

As a disabled veteran, one of the hardest moments of my life was in 2017 when I faced a return to Missouri from a trip to Colorado to experiment with cannabis. At the time, I was taking 27 pills a day for pain and mental health issues and was desperately searching for a better alternative. I was 220 pounds at five foot seven; fat, depressed, angry and suicidal at times. I traveled to Colorado in order to see what life would be like if I had access to cannabis; at that moment, I was concerned (more accurately, paranoid) about trying to locate cannabis and getting busted here in Missouri. In Colorado, I was able to experience freedom and a sense of relief from my symptoms that were nothing short of transcendent. I was able to enjoy public spaces, sit with my back to doorways, and in general actually have the chance to use the tools I had learned in therapy. Then the long weekend ended, and I had to face the reality of coming back to Missouri and my new reality being completely illegal.

I was crushed. Suddenly, the world that had been brightened for me became gloomy and dim; I cried most of the twelve-hour drive home. The next morning, staring at the pills in my hand, I knew I had to do something. Working towards legalizing cannabis gave me hope for the future, hope that inspired me to get off the pills and work hard on becoming a fully functional self again. This hope is what changed my life and inspired me to become a better person; this hope literally saved my life.

Cannabis has been occasionally demonized and misrepresented as increasing mental health issues. While this may be true for some people, the vast majority of traumatized veterans are turning to cannabis in increasing numbers for the hope and relief it brings from our myriad symptoms. “Vet Bod: It’s like Dad Bod, but with more knee pain” is a common joke amongst veterans, and that doesn’t even account for mental health issues that come along with it! Factors like the body pain and mental health issues combined with a complete lack of access to medical cannabis are likely key points to acknowledge when we discuss this sad truth: in the state of Missouri, where so many veterans call home, veteran suicide is almost twice the national civilian average, twenty percent higher than the national veteran suicide rate, and fifteen percent higher than the Midwestern region veteran suicide rate. We have been losing our veterans at a staggering rate, even accounting for the national uptick in suicide over the last decade, but we finally have a chance to turn it around!

Now, a caveat: I will be discussing the use of cannabis as a tool to combat PTSD and suicidal thoughts, but in no way is this meant to portray cannabis as the only tool you should use! PTSD, trauma, and suicide are all topics vital to discuss with a trusted mental health professional; none of us stands alone, and all of us could use regular checkups with mental health providers. While it’s important to worry about the hydraulic systems and overall fitness of our bodies, our minds as the operating system telling these bodies what to do are arguably more important to pay attention to! It doesn’t matter how in shape you are, if your mental state has become staggered due to trauma, war, abuse, etc., I strongly urge you to seek out mental health providers and find ways to heal. If you or someone you know is considering harming themselves, text HOME to the Crisis Hotline at 741741 for a free text-based chat, or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

That being said, a Canadian study from 2014 looked at the effects of cannabis use in Canadian veterans. While we are still struggling to get cannabis accepted here in the United States, at the time Canadian veterans were being provided an average of 9.4 grams of cannabis per day by their government for medication. This study tracked 100 consecutive patients from their first visit through follow-ups up to eighteen months later. Overall, this study found an overall reduction in symptoms of forty-nine percent, with a reduction in suicidal thoughts averaging seventy-seven percent! Short-circuiting the feedback loops that spiral us into darkness is an effective first step at keeping our veterans and anyone else struggling with suicide alive. While this study was dominated by male patients, our female veterans in the United States are over twice as likely to commit suicide as their male counterparts for reasons that are still not clear.

What is clear is that access to clean, safe, reasonably priced medical cannabis is an important tool in our toolbox for potentially preventing suicide. I’m proud to be a resident of a state where this important first step is just being taken, and thousands of veterans and civilians alike are filled with hope. No longer will we feel like second class citizens, or worry about breaking the rule of law we fought and died to uphold, or flee as medical refugees to other states where we can pursue our medicine legally. Now we have the hope, the option, and the opportunity to lift our heads and grab ahold of a lifeline so long denied. Missouri has just opened the door to a brighter future for us all, and it’s up to every one of us to step through alongside our neighbors.

JOSH LEE is a medically retired disabled veteran and cannabis advocate residing in mid-Missouri. Lee is depicted in a viral image holding a large bag with 9,828 candies inside, one for each pill he was prescribed throughout the year before beginning to use medical marijuana.